AHHH! (a 2 kids moment)

This afternoon we were all in the bed around 12:50 (attempting to keep w. the preschool schedule). The 2 books were read, then L. needed to potty, to drink, etc. I warned him that a little boy who didn't rest didn't get to "watch" or play computer. He quieted down. I nursed Z. Just as I was beginning to drift off, no covers. L. claimed he was hot. Back & forth for an hour, this fun stuff continued. I finally let him get up (I have lots to do anyway, but the exhaustion takes over sometimes). He was directed to color or draw quietly as I got some laundry downstairs. I heard, "MOM!" a few times before I heard "WHAAA!" Urg. I hear that a lot. "MOOOOOM!" followed by "WHAAAA!" And I want to growl & do harm to my toddler (bc usually it's him asking, "what I should dwaw?" as he did today.) Then I remember: 1. he's only 3! 2. he is used to having only me around, not someone who depends on so many naps 3. although he is happy to have "sister," she has rocked his "only child" world. After acting out to a crazy extent the other day, he sat down on my lap and told me it was "hawd to be a big brother." Poor guy. I'm sure it is. I know that I'm a big sister, but I can not relate to this "new baby" thing. I don't remember life without Dave! He was always there in my memory. I'm sure I had a few sad or jealous moments as a tiny person, but they have escaped me. Barclay usually relates to Langston a little better in these moments. I just listen & try to do a cwaft, read a book, or practice in a workbook as I nurse...to remind him that some times are still his.