Breathing through the dark day

our ewwwww! shower complete with a tiny tub & two tiny kids. :)
I finally broke down & tried some...not that awesome...and I'm a kraut liker.
yes, that's kraut. welcome to poland!
Zora bean working on a puzzle in the English school area of our church building.
a self photograph by my main man, L.
Aunt Leane doing her helping thing.
my big fella & I in a hot air balloon! Lindsay, I thought of you!

Poland so far...has been an experience. I wish I could say it has been "lovely" and that all things have gone exceedingly well, but I cannot. That isn't to say that my babies have been sickly to the point of a hospital visit or that we've been lost or hungry...just lonely and very inconvienced.
For example...we've been stuck (smooshed) in our elevator shaft twice in the past two weeks...each time a rescue being 35-45 min. in the making. There is only standing room beside the jumbo stroller & each kid is in his/her seat as we sing & sweat & snack & hold our bladders 'til our rescue team arrives.
Then we have the *nasty* shared kitchen on our floor. I knew I wouldn't like it, but some days I really hate it. It gets smelly & gross & I seem to be the only person who cleans it or takes out the trash once a fortnight. ( I want to ask about it each time I go down past the reception desk, but no one but the manager speaks any English.)
Then there's the laundry, the lack of dryer, the icky shower, the lack of adult size tub (I squeeze my hiney into a large kid tub to shave), the general gray weather...cold, wet, & dark at 4 pm...*sigh.*
Add to this the sucky internet connection & the hours between all of us, as well as my hubby needing to work on the computer (which is a fact, not a complaint) & you get one sad mommy.
I think that if I had an outlet like in previous places (hooray for a great international community! three cheers for UF grad & family housing!), I would be less sad. I need moms & the kids need other kids. We've been searching a little & found a Helen Doran School of English close by, so we're going there twice a week & meeting other fams who speak ESL. I'm planning a lesson to teach the 8-10 year olds some conversational things. I hope to meet more friends this way, but it is seriously the only local outlet we've found. The few really nice some English speaking moms whom I've met have been in Kielce only for the day, so they would be "only weekend buddies," (when they happen to visit here) which wouldn't be bad, but it's nice to have a day-to-day mom-friend.
Poor Leanne! She's been my only girlfriend here so far! I'm sure she gets tired of my mom-ness sometimes, but she's been really understanding & we've had fun times. And poor Barclay. He is really trying to help keep us going, too, but this is tough. I feel slightly caged somehow. There are the million other things: Christine, how are you!? I feel like the worst friend ever bc I haven't gotten to call yet! Our computer has been out of commission & I haven't had a good opportunity to be the listener I want to be!
Mom, I'm sorry I didn't speak to you on your b'day! And my brain rattles on...Zora has had the worst diaper rash & so I've been trying to potty train her, but I think all the products here irritate her! I want to exercise so badly, but don't have my music to dance to & B doesn't want to download i-tunes here...(and somehow depression doesn't spawn a "get up & go attitude in me"...more of a "lay down & cry")...I'm doing some Yoga, though. Thank the Divine for Yoga, y'all. It's the only thing that reminds me to breathe sometimes. I know that is what I need more of. Breathe! Pray. Meditate on the Good Things. I'll make it through these next few months. I have a feeling Barclay and I will be closer because of it. I love him so much that I'm here after all! :)

Langston and his baby

starting sideways....sorry! I like this pic, though...
l-town pushing zee...a common happening during our playground outings.
we found a fun play area in the entrance to our movie theater...we saw "odlot" (or "up," for you non-polish speakers :) in 3D
arts & crafts at their table in their room..."the kids room," as the sign on their door reads. :)
watching an Elmo DVD
our first snow! it snowed LOTS, but didn't stay for more than a week...thank goodness!
mommy's final (& successful) attempt at keeping everyone satisfied during the last leg of a long travel day.
checking out an amazing pumpkin at barefoot gardens in macomb...just days before we left.
just chillin'...
I don't think I can express how thankful I am that I have these two wonderful, little people around who love each other so much. To see them loving in action is to truly see love. I hope they are always so smitten. I know I've said lots of this before, but I see it daily & it never fails to both humble me & remind me of how purely a little person loves.
They have their "ahhh!" moments with each other (as we all do), but they are constant playmates--so in tune with the other ones needs sometimes. I hope they learn to listen as well as their dad (one of the first things that attracted me to him), as I can already see they each have a natural fondness for showing affection the way I do (which I consider a good attribute). :)

a few pix of Z @ 18 mths

1st: I'm reposting this post bc I think it got a little overlooked with the whole "smarty pants video"...
2nd: this is my favorite pic. (Although I also love the "sugar tit" one...)
I was playing with my new camera. Zora was playing in the sandbox...and eating the sand...of course!
Sorry some of these are sideways...I'll try to remedy that asap. Enjoy!

deep breaths with daddy...she stays SO still for him! the only way I can keep her still is to attach her to my boob for the duration of the treatment. :)
z. & a friendly polish baby play in the ball pit at our mall.
dedicated to grandad, this would be zora's version of a "sugar tit"...made from a paper pack of sugar from Micky D's. and look at those amazing blue eyes! that would be from my side of the fam, y'all. L's beautiful brown come from B's side.
Lady Z: fully dressed for our 1st snow (Oct. 13th).
Bo-zee-phus in dad's "king of the hill" underpants. :)
eating...art? I'm pretty sure it was paints in this pic...

I feel so far behind on e-life. I'll try to blog more later. :)

smarty pants does the dishes

So...as Barclay explained in his last post, our "dish situation" ain't pretty. We wash 'em in a small sink b't th shower & toilet area (I"ll try to post a pic) & then take them (dripping, but we lay down a towel to drip on) to the dish drainer that sits atop the mini fridge in the room we've assigned "eating area." Anyway, it's a drippy, time consuming process. One afternoon, my boy complained of my damp floor that "sometimes gets his socks wet." He was protesting this wet floor thing; blaming me. He ended his whine with, "do you understand me?" (keep it dry while doing all our dishes, mom.) I told him that I didn't appreciate his smart attitude & he had no clue how much effort went into doing all our stupid dishes (we eat most every meal at home; I cook about twice a day; sandwiches at lunch usually). So, his "learning experience" that night was to do ALL the dishes for the day. Barclay thought I was a little hard on him. (I don't care if I was!) But by the time he finished all the dishes, he was ready to apologize. And he should've been. My plan is to help these babies of mine realize that the world doesn't owe them anything. That and to show respect, but take no crap, treat all people as they want to be treated, appreciate their parents, love their famiy, follow Jesus' example of radical love & action...and a lot more. If L. thinks dishwashing was a tough lesson...just wait. Mama's got lots more.

Zora Gwendolyn at 1and a 1/2

I am so thankful for my lovely lady. Her personality is much different than big brother's and that's a fun thing. They play together pretty well (even with the 3 yr., 4 mth. age gap), in part due to their personalities. Langston is, as Byron aptly described once "an old soul." He's mature, concerned (to the fault of worry) & a natural caregiver. Zora is a bit less of a worried small person. She's a little more friendly & gets to know folks more quickly. I think they both have amazing personalities & I'm enjoying watching them develop. :)

Speaking of developing...Zora has cut 4 teeth in the past 6 weeks of Poland! That gives her a grand total of "all but the 2 yr. molars." :) She also has had 2 colds; 1 quickly passing, the other passing through everyone but L, and a wicked diaper rash. (small aside story: the 2nd time we went to church I asked someone who spoke English there was a dr. in the house. she said, "yes" & introduced me to an obgyn, whom I immediately requested to look at Z's vagina...hey, they had a changing table in the next room! he laughed at me, but said yes. he looked & prescribed meds, then went to get the meds & gave me his cell # to call if she didn't improve in the next few days! how's that for church family! 'excuse me, brother, could you help my child's privates?'...ha, ha. only me, I know.)
anywho, back to big Z.
She talks like crazy--repeating things if we say, "can you say__?". She knows all her parts of the body, some colors, letters, & signs. She mostly likes to sign foods & animals. She calls almost all fruit "apple," but that might have something to do with an apple being her fav fruit (like her mama). And she digs peanut butter (again, like mama).
She says "don't know" with her little chubby hands out when asked questions like, "where is mommy's hairbrush?" She likes to hide things. She'll play with anything (like brother), which has come in handy here while traveling overseas. She loves "babies." She strolls, nurses, feeds, rocks, sings to, etc. her babies (1 dark skinned, 1 light skinned). She still nurses a LOT, but even B. says that he couldn't imagine traveling as we have done without the comfort & nutrition of breastmilk. She LOVES to dress up. And boy this drives me nuts. It's cute, don't get me wrong, but the amount of clothes this kid drags out daily wears me out (okay, Mel, I finally understand).
She calls herself "Wuh-wuh" (L. calls her 'Zaaaah-wuh')and Langston is "Nane" or "Nanny" (with a long A sound)"...bc this is what he called himself at her age, so it's one of his many nicknames that have stuck. Elmo is 'Moe. Peek-a-boo is 'peek-boo. Any bodily function is "poo poo" & she will pee in the potty sometimes.
She is still a climber, a flirt, a fearless risktaker (have I mentioned that I've called posion control twice in her short 18 months, but never in L's almost 5 yrs.?) and an adorable blue-eyed mess. :0)

thankful (in Polish)

actually, here are a few things I'm thankful for in Poland...not Polish...otherwise y'all would be like me reading a menu here & entirely lost. :) I've learned a few basics, but this language is tough!
In no particular order...
1.My new girlfriend, Leanne. Or Auntie Leanne, as she should be dubbed. She's teaching English & Lit here at the same university & lives in the same dorm, only one floor away from us. We have many common interests (English degree, sense of humor, disliking the half-eaten sausage in our common 'fridge). And she not only puts up with, but plays with my kids. They adore her. As do I. :)
2.My new clothes washer. They don't do the dryer thing here (WHY?!), but they only had one functioning washer for two whole DORMS of people...& it was "first come, first serve." I have spent days of my life waiting to wash one load of laundry. I thought I was going crazy. My husband must've noticed my lack of sanity bc he didn't put up a fight about shelling out the $333 for the washer.
3.The close-by Protestant-Methodist-some English speaking church. We've only just found this place, but it seems promising. There was a neat mix of old & new of everything from worship style to songs to people & a nice girl translated for us (when I wasn't breastfeeding/rocking Zora to sleep in the kitchen or taking L. to play with the kids). They even have an English service once a month which we have been asked to help with (of course I said YES!).
4.Reading again. I haven't been motivated to exercise yet (all the walking & pushing the giant, kid-filled stroller has been enough, but I do miss Yoga & Pilates...okay & dance), but I have been reading like mad. I am almost finished with Dreams from my Father by our current Prez & have just started reading Eat, Pray, Love, which is making me mark pages on meditation & Yoga with a gnawing desire to attempt more than the one leg with which I am familiar. Anybody out there read either of these? I'd recommend them both.
5.That the kids (& all of us) have been well. Zora is fighting off a croupy cough. She coughed as she woke up for 2 days in a row, with no other cold symptoms, but this morning she's been hacking & sneezing. I went ahead & gave her 2 breathing treatments & nursed her a lot & put her down for an early nap. She seems to be feeling fine, though. No fever & as happy as usual. Again, she licks & eats everything in Poland, so for this to be the first sign of sickness is amazing & I am thankful. (Langston did tell me that if her cough gets worse, we should take her to Dr. Lin, our Ped in Macomb. :)
6.Kid comments. Sometimes they keep me going. Peter Cole, I hope you read this bc I thought of you when L said it...
We were discussing something about an old sharp object (knife, sword...?) & Barclay told Langston that it was sometimes used for hunting food. Sweet Langston replies, "Like mushrooms?" Yes, my darling vegan-thinking boy. They should hunt mushrooms.

two of my favs...and yes, today was my 29th

Please, please follow the link in the last post for LOTS of pix. I will try to post some tomorrow...when we have a better internet connection. :) Thanks for the happy b'day wishes, everyone! I'm currently catching up to most everyone I hang out with back in the states...my 30+ crew. ;) But, 1.age is simply a number 2.being a mom instantly tosses you into a whole different category "__'s mom," no matter your age 3.I think I've enjoyed the aging process so far; I know myself better. :)And now time to put folks to bed...one's on my leg; the other my head (?)...