|Joni, Lindsay & me (red hair, braces & all)|
|at our spot in the hall #teenagersbeingcool|
While my little social circle mourned the loss of Kurt Cobain and tried to navigate all the regular awkward social teen moments, we also had a difficult time with "authority figures." Not all of them, of course. There were the few wonderful ones who took the time with those bright kids who dressed a little differently, but not a lot.
|blurry, but there we are: Me with my Lori|
By my early twenties my goal was to look like most every other girl who was in her twenties--at least the blonde, thin, popular ones. I ate very little and exercised a lot. I did loose weight, but I also lost my period for a few years and myself for while.
I was processing and pushing through so much at that time. Controlling my size seemed to be one of the only things I was fully capable of controlling. It very nearly tipped my brain over the edge and I, to this day, do not know what or Whom to contribute my sanity to (as I Believer, I am thankful). I do know that I lost a few girlfriends to the demon that is Disordered Eating. I know a few others who are still in the midst of the battle. Thankfully, wonderfully, I know a few who, like me, see the other side of that evil.
|Robin was a good friend while I was a little crazy.|
|two of the most amazing people I know...my Z & my L|
We talk about where "beauty" comes from (inside), what we think is beautiful (they both love babies), and how we eat well and exercise to feel good and keep our bodies healthy. We certainly try to live as positive examples, but sometimes I find myself fussing with my hair, or worrying about a blemish in front of them and I wonder what message that is sending.
|cooking with sweet Z|
|The most recent pic of me: being silly with my amazing sis.in.law, Leslie|